In my life, I have never thought I would reach here where I have to stay single for this long fighting my battles so hard that there is no option but to stay strong until you come out with flying colors. Today when I turn back to my past, I feel proud of myself. Not that I am too great of a person but in spite of my flaws, I am becoming better every next moment and that is my goal for lifetime - be a little better than yesterday.
Times when I never knew I have strength to travel alone, but I determined to take my vacation alone. I planned my road trip and it still serves as one of the most memorable moments of the life.
The hardest thing to overcome is diverting your mind thoughts about what will happen next. There comes a time when I feel I am not strong anymore and I get clouded completely by thoughts of what is coming next? Will there be anyone to ask me if I am okay or how was my day when I enter my house in the evening after work? Will there be anyone to pick up my grocery bags from trunk to home? Will there be anyone to hold my hand seeing the sea shore indefinitely, and so on. This results in draining out all my tenacity and strength.
Then I started motivating myself by making regular habits of yoga, meditation, reading, stuff that I always wanted to do and for some reason I could not do. I started journaling, sketching and embroidery. I started traveling with the right people and that sometimes is just me only :)
I have trained my mind to believe that "if it doesn't feel good, it is not going to feel any better by thinking about it longer." Every time I feel like I am stressing out over the things that I have no control over, I divert my mind by taking a long drive with my favorite music on.
And gradually I realized, I do not need to wait to be happy because I already am happy.
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